National Infertility Awareness Week: April 25 - May 2, 2009

Having now gone through 10 cycles of TTC & getting a tentative MFI diagnosis, I have been looking online to arm myself with all the information & support I can possibly get my hands on. An interwebs friend told me about Resolve, which bills itself as a "community for women and men with infertility".

This week happens to be National Infertility Awareness Week so I am using this blog as a small way to help spread the word that no everyone just has to look at their husband to get knocked up & that "just relaxing" will not, in fact, magically make me pregnant.

Here's just a sample of what Resolve bills as "Infertility 101"; I encourage you to explore their website to learn more:

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. But choosing how to build your family is a very personal decision. Learning about all the ways to build a family can open your eyes to options you may not have thought of as a possibility. Education is key to finding resolution.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.

Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!

Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Grandma's pickles

He now only has 1 living grandparent; his mom's mom died yesterday in her sleep. At 92, she certainly had a good life & went peacefully but it doesn't make it any easier. He had hoped to see her one last time & I was hoping to meet her too.

Vid talked about how she was the last person he saw before he got on the plane to come to the US for grad school 8 years ago. She was so worried about him starving over here she made him a ton of mango pickles (in glass jars) to take with him on his journey. Unfortunately, they broke in transit & ruined most of his clothing; poor thing!

Looking @ the calendar, I see it's been a little over a year since my mom's mom passed. I also associate my grandma with pickles. We spent many fall weekends canning veggies; we were all so sad when we opened the last jar of her pickles after the funeral. I am growing dill along with cucumbers this year in my garden but already know I won't be able to exactly replicate her recipe. Unfortunately mangoes don't grow in New England or I would try to make mango pickles for my hubby; I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

The great sperm race!

Click here to play. Apparently Vid & I are better at making sperm meet egg on the computer than in real life as cycle 10 came a-knockin' earlier this week. Goodbye 2009 due date, hello 2010, should we be so lucky...

I fucking hate Anna Duggar

Let me preface this by saying I took a pregnancy test yesterday (my 30th birthday) @ 12 DPO in the hopes I would be able to tell my mom she was going to be a grandmother since it's her birthday too. No such luck. And with a huge temp drop this morning we're out for a 2009 baby; cycle 10 should be here momentarily.

And then I turned on the TV & saw this:

"Anna said that she had taken several pregnancy tests since her marriage to Josh last September. When it came time to take another in early February, she told Vieira, she didn’t want to be disappointed again. She took the test at the used car dealership she and Josh own and operate, then left it in the bathroom without looking at it. She asked Josh to check it for her."

September to February is, what, 4 months? We should all be so lucky! And don't even get me started on the taking a pregnancy test @ the used car dealership.

I fucking hate Anna Duggar.

Monsoon season

We got 3 inches of rain yesterday. Today, there were scattered showers on & off; it's supposed to rain in one form or another through the weekend. Vid says it's like monsoon season back home; August is the rainiest month in southern India. As the saying goes: April showers bring May flowers. Shit; that means allergy season is right around the corner! Anyways...

I am jonesin' that my last day @ my current job is next week; I haven't been this excited since I was 6, it was December & still believed in Santa Claus. And because of this, wouldn't you know it feels like time is just d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g!

To make matters worse, I am currently in what is known in the world of women trying to conceive (TTC) as the "two week wait". Basically, I am obsessing over every.little.thing my body does, looking for clues that I may finally be pregnant after 9 cycles of trying. After 9 cycles, though, I must confess: I am not expecting any good news, especially with the test results my husband was given recently. I never expected to get pregnant right away when we started this journey, but now that we're coming to the end of cycle 9 I suddenly realized: if we had gotten pregnant right away, I could be going into labor any day now. And that thought scares the heck out of me. But it also makes me a bit sad to know we've been @ it that long with nada, even when I know many women try for even longer & still get nothing.

Because of my not managing to get knocked up yet, Vid & I are toying with the idea of maybe going to India this summer. I've never been & he hasn't been home since he came to the US for grad school 8 years ago. I've never met any of his extended relatives. I really want to meet his grandmothers, who are both in their 90s; they've seen India go from colony to emerging super power & I would love to get them on video talking about their experiences for our future children. I have video of my great grandfather who fought with the IRA when he was interviewed as a consultant on the movie Michael Collins; I love that I can still see him & hear his thick Irish brogue even though he has been gone for 7 years now.

If we do India, it will probably be for 2 weeks in August. Yes, I am aware it is monsoon season, but that's half the fun! I can't take vacation time until July anyways since I am starting a new job (Did I mention that I'm starting a new job? Because I am!) & if Vid teaches any courses this summer that would be the only time we could do it. If I'm actually pregnant as I type this (we'll find out next week) I don't know how I'd feel about flying that far being 20-something weeks along. Then again, a lot of women say the 2nd trimester is the best time to have a "babymoon"; during the 1st trimester there tends to be a whole lotta pukin' goin' on. Of course, this is all speculation; having been a condom Nazi until I met my husband & on The Pill during several relationships in college & grad school, I've never had an "Oh shit, I'm pregnant!" moment.

Some of you may think I'm nuts for considering travel to a "developing country" while possibly pregnant. Keep in mind I've done a lot of traveling & living in low resource countries; actually, where I'd be in India would be like going to Beverly Hills when compared to my living conditions in Niger, where I pumped my own water & had no flush toilet for a summer. Despite this, my mother still thinks I'm nuts. And if God forbid anything should happen, well, that's why you buy travel insurance!

So I don't know what to think. Do I want to go to India? If we can swing it schedule wise & financially, absolutely! If I'm pregnant, will I feel well enough to enjoy it? I have no idea. If I'm not pregnant, will I still enjoy it? Yes & maybe this time we'll actually get a souvenir out of the trip since we didn't when we went to Florida last month. If not, by the time we would be getting back we'll most certainly be seeing a specialist for help as it will be past the year mark by then. Indeed, time flies, but it seems to drag @ the same time.