Apparently one's grammatical skills are directly inverse to one's ability to conceive

Case in point:



PS: if you're having trouble reading this gem, click here.

On infertility & Facebook

The Washington Post had a really great article on being an infertile on Facebook over the weekend. I think the last few sentences sum it up perfectly, at least for me:

At home, lounging in the kitchen with her husband, Eric, and their dogs, Colling came across another posting by her brother's girlfriend about her pregnancy. She read parts of it aloud to Eric: "'Feel like crap . . . feel in pain, stressed out, so sick of this feeling.' "

Diane tried to suppress a frown. "I'd kill for that sometimes," she said. "I'd love to be in her place."

Yup.

Example of how God has nothing to do with my being infertile

My mother calls me last night & asks if I'm sitting down. I think "oh God who else is effing knocked up" but she assures me this is not the reason for her call. Rather, she has a story to share.

I have a cousin, S., who is 28, unmarried, living with an unemployed abusive boyfriend, gets numerous forms of gov't assistance, is anorexic & somehow still has 3 kids. She works as an "exotic dancer" (a.k.a stripper) @ one of the many shady places in our fine capital city. Of course, she is not on the books (no W2 filled out, etc.) with this gig.

Her sister, K., is actually normal (married with a 2 year old, one on the way & has a job) & she calls on her ALL.THE.FARKING.TIME because she cannot function. So when S calls K the other day to see if she can pick up her oldest kid from lst grade (btw, child is 7 & wasn't potty trained til 5) because she's @ the hospital K doesn't blink & simply asks "Oh is one of the other kids sick?". S's reply:

"No; they think I fractured my ankle or something. I fell off the pole when I was dancing & landed weird on my ankle."

It was @ this point I ran to the bathroom before I p!ssed myself from laughing too hard.

But seriously, how the hell does she get 3 & I can't even get 1?!?! This is why it makes me want to cut a bitch whenever people say "Maybe it's not in God's plans for you to have children." Really? I have a wonderful husband who would be a spectacular father. We're both employed. We're educated. We aren't on crack or selling our bodies to strangers. So WTF is the problem? God does not "plan" to give flaming idiots children to eff up; at least not the God I grew up hearing about. It's all a matter of luck. And I'm apparently just not very lucky.

11-11-11...pretty please?!?!

Michigan mom gives birth on 8-8-08, 9-9-09, 10-10-10

I used to think people who had kids so close together were nuts. I have a friend who had her 2 sons only 15 months apart & my mom is a mere 11 months older than my Uncle Paul. However, given our situation, I think we may seriously consider trying for #2 as soon as we get clearance from my doctor, which usually happens somehwere between 6 & 12 weeks depending on the damage done to one's nether regions. That is, if we even get to have #1 at this point. Still, my ladygarden hurts just thinking about having 3 kids in the span of 26 months. Maybe I'll get to have a super cool 11-11-11 baby?!?! Yeah, doubt it...

In this week's installment of stupid people breeding...

Teen mom charged with dropping newborn out window

There is no excuse for this, especially when there are these all over the place:

"I hate her uterus"

The RSC (Reproductive Science Center) of New England (which my RE was affiliated with before moving out on her own last month) has recently launched a series of commercials designed to speak to the untold thousands of women in the area who are having trouble getting pregnant. This website , featuring a man dressed as a bee & a woman dressed as a bird (get it? hahaha!) has 5 commercials in total; below I posted my personal fave, since finding out the whole planet is pregnant seems to be my thing lately. It's nice to have something both educational & funny out there for those dealing with infertility. Enjoy!

Thoughts on the IVF Nobel Prize

The 2010 Nobel Prize for medicine went to the guy who developed IVF. Awesome! Of course, the 1st IVF baby was born a few months before I was, so it isn't exactly a new technology. Still, I hope this award will help educate people that not everyone is a "fertile myrtle" & there are amazing options for people who need help conceiving.

Of course, The Vatican has a problem with this. Needless to say I differ with the Catholic Church on its teaching that conception should only be the product of intimacy between a husband & wife. What us infertiles wouldn't give to just get pregnant by having sex with our spouse! Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way for everyone. If we need to do IVF to have children, I should hope the Catholic Church wouldn't look down upon our offspring as being any less worthy of life & love.

After all, Jesus himself wasn't born of sexual relations.

Just sayin'.

More bizarre infertility dreams

I had another very vivid dream the other night. This time, there was no kidnapping & being dragged against my will to a baby shower. This time, I was meeting with my RE to talk about doing IVF. And when she told me to "just relax", I knifed her.

Huh?!?!

Disturbed doesn't even to describe how I felt when I woke up. Number one, I really like my RE. Number two, she'd NEVER tell someone in my shoes to "just relax". I'd like to think I'm not a homicidal maniac. Where the eff did this come from? I'd love to hear some interpretations.