Poking & prodding, cont'd.

I managed to get my SHG done on Monday morning with only a 2 hour delay thanks to the lovely blizzard we had this weekend. Much like the HSG I had 1 1/2 years ago there was only some mild cramping. My RE asked if it was ok for the new nurse to be in on the procedure; I said it was fine since she'll probably be seeing a lot more of my ladygarden in the coming months anyways. I then made an offhanded comment about how @ this point they could erect a billboard of my crotch over Interstate 95 & nobody would care since most of New England has seen my vajayjay anyways which made the nurse snort. Maybe I've missed my calling as an infetility stand-up comedian?

Anyways, me & the crotch cam (transvaginal ultrasound wand) are now BFFs again. My RE said everything looked fine. She talked to the anasthesia people who I talked to earlier in the day & they said so long as I make my magic BMI number we're good to go with the IVF. So, I need to lose another 15 lbs. Fuuuck. I know I can do it but it just sucks that EVERYTHING else checks out fine except for my ass being wide. So when CD3 comes to town again I'll step on the scale & see if we've made it or not. I highly doubt I'll be able to lose 15 lbs in 3 weeks but that's fine; I think I can do it in 7 without a problem. So that means we'll likely be cycling in February: happy anniversary to us!

Vid did his semen analysis yesterday so hopefully that checks out ok. Of course they did such a super crappy job plowing the roads that he nearly skidded into a phone pole on the way to the hospital to drop off his sample. I can only imagine him trying to explain to a police officer while filing a report that he needs to get his sperm cup to the urologist in 1 hour or less!

IVF consult update

Aunt Flo came to town right on schedule in the wee hours of Monday morning. On a whim, I called my RE's office yesterday to see if they happened to have any last minute appointments available this week since I was sure we'd need to do the usual CD3 bloodwork before anything else could be done. Lo & behold, they had a cancellation this afternoon.

So we sat with my doctor & her nurse (not the same one from her old office but she seems nice) for about an hour & chatted about what's happened since my last IUI over 6 months ago. Since it's been 1 1/2 years since I had an HSG & about the same amount of time since Vid has had an SA those tests need to be repeated in order for us to get our insurance to pay their part. My 1st HSG wasn't bad; just a wee bit of cramping. I'm scheduled to get that done next week. I have to call the urologist in the morning to schedule the SA. Yes, me. Because my husband says he will do it, but after almost 3 years of marriage I know better by now than to believe that he won't misplace the paperwork for it. All I can say is he's lucky he's cute.

Additionally, I need to have an anesthesia test done as I'm over a certain BMI per the protocol of medical center where the IVF procedures will be taking place. Basically, it's to make sure they won't have any problems if they need to intubate me for some reason during ER or ET. My RE doesn't see me having any issue with passing this test, especially since I was knocked out for my lap just 4 months ago & had no problems. And besides being obese, I have no medical issues. But rules are rules & so ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

My RE says I've done great with the weight loss & to keep it up but she doesn't see it affecting the quality or quantity of my eggs given I've responded fine to stims for past IUIs. So long as my ovaries "pop up well" (her words; LOL), meaning they are easy to see for monitoring purposes, she has no problem with us doing IVF. Yet again, she had no problem seeing anything for the IUIs so we should be ok.

Before we left Vid & I both had bloodwork done. 8 vials for me, 2 for him. And yes, I had to hold his hand so he wouldn't pass out. Hey, whatever gets us that much closer to parenthood, I'm good with.

So far as what my protocol will be, it depends on what the test results show. My RE thinks so long as everything is ok, & she sees no reason it won't be, I'd likely go on BCPs & then a low & slow Lupron stim regimen. Of course, we'll sit down with a calendar & go over things in more detail before starting but I like having a clue on what to expect.

I'm excited, hopeful & terrified all @ once!

Ooooh, Amber...*tsk* *tsk* *tsk* & SMDH

On behalf of the vast majority of humanity, I pray to the Lord above that this is not true.

I know, you're probably thinking "Why the f@#% do you torture yourself watching that program?"; I often wonder this too. I really only watched the 1st season of "16 & Pregnant" & that cast as "Teen Mom"; I have only seen short bits & pieces of the latest seasons.

Of the couples on that show, I've long found it ironic that the ones who were the most mature about their situation, Kaitlyn & Tyler, were also the ones who actually thought of their child's future & decided it was best to put her up for adoption. I can't even imagine how hard that must've been; kudos to them.

Amber, on the other hand...

Yeah, I totally called it. If it's true she's pregnant AGAIN (Star Magazine hasn't won any Pulitzers lately, has it?) it just adds credence to my theory that God has nothing to do with who gets knocked up @ the drop of a hat & who does not. But apparently Amber thinks this may all just be meant to be:

To make a bad situation worse, troubled Amber has been with so many guys in the past three months, she has no idea who the father could be. Amber is hoping that her ex-fiancé Gary Shirley turns out to be the father, says the insider. "She thinks they're meant to be together."

First off, BARF @ being with "so many guys in the past 3 months", & if you're going to turn your vajayjay into Grand Central Station, then USE PROTECTION! You'd think she'd have learned this after, oh, I dunno, SHE GOT PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME.

Second, hoping this child is your ex's because "she thinks they've meant to be together": NO IT DOES NOT MEAN THIS. Has she not watched her own show? If you look up "abusive relationship" in the dictionary, their picture is there. She needs some serious psychiatric help (speaking as someone who works in psych research & also goes to therapy thanks to infertility) & he needs to RUN AWAY until she gets some. Think about the well being of the kid you already have, FFS!

Finally, I don't like criticizing people's appearances as I am no supermodel, but that orange glow tan? NO. Maybe she's hoping to land a guest spot on "Jersey Shore" or something? Whaddyathink?:

I'm officially anti-social

I didn't attend my cousin's baby shower this past weekend. And I felt no guilt. I explained to her last month when the shower invites went out I would no longer be attending such events for my own sanity. And that my therapist concurred that was a good idea. I would, however, send a gift. An I upheld my end of the bargain. I simply gave my mother money & told her to spend it on whatever was on the registry around that price point. Of course, I also had a raging head cold so even if I wasn't a bitter infertile I probably wouldn't have gone.

I also won't be going to the other cousin's shower next month. It's in NJ which is a bit of a haul & God knows what the weather will be like in January. Plus, with IVF probably just around the corner (it better be! I'm sick of being patient!) I may need to be local for monitoring or whatever. My parents will be on vacation in Mexico for this one (lucky) so my mom won't be attending. I may just throw a gift card in the mail.

I'm also debating my attendance at Christmas. I feel very conflicted about this. I know at least 1 of the 3 pregnant cousins will be there & I'm just not in the mood. However, this could very well be the last holiday we celebrate in my grandparents' house as it's going on the market after the new year. Maybe we'll just "chew & screw" so I don't feel guilty but also don't have to lock myself in the bathroom to cry at some point.

I just don't want to deal with people. I'm officially anti-social.

Eff you, Kay Jewelers!

Seriously.

The holidays are hard enough to deal with as an infertile between getting Christmas cards with the cherubic faces of your friends' kids on them & dealing with a million family gatherings full of pregnant cousins. I really, really don't need your stupid commercials to remind me of my infertility as well.

You've undoubtedly seen the commercial I'm referring to. If not, click here to watch it, but don't say I didn't warn you.

It's the one where the mom is rocking her infant next to the Christmas tree. Her husband walks in and she says, "You're up? It's 2 a.m." He replies, "It's not just 2 a.m. It's 2 a.m. Christmas morning." Our first Christmas together as a family." Apparently I missed the memo that my husband & I are not considered to be a "real" family since we don't have a baby even after 2.5 years of trying.

Brilliant idea: parking spots for infertiles only!

I was in quite the mood today. And not in a good way. So much so, in fact, that I parked here when I stopped @ the grocery store on the way home from the gym:



Suck on that, smug preggos!

I've always thought these spots were stupid, even before I got dealt the PCOS & Endo cards. Why are they stupid? For starters, most pregnant women are not disabled; if they were, they would qualify for an actual handicap parking permit. Furthermore, if their pregnancies or small children are that difficult to manage that they cannot walk a few extra parking spaces, perhaps they should make their hubby or SO stop for milk, bread, etc. Also, these spaces are not legally enforceable like handicap spots, so what's the point?

Please spare me the "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE 8 MONTHS PREGNANT AND HAVE SWOLLEN CANKLES!!1!ONE!!11!" whine; I am well aware of the fact I have never had the experience of an almost full-term fetus in my body.

Bitter? Yes. I own it. Some day, I do hope to overcome it, but until then, how about a "Bitter Infertiles Only" parking spot? You know, for those days when your ovarian cysts are making themselves known with stabbing pains. Or when AF is on the way & you want to reach up your vagina & rip your ute out because the cramps are so bad. Or when you've been on stims for IVF for several days & are so bloated you could roll into the store from the parking lot. I imagine a sign for such a spot would look something like this:

Competative infertiles LOL

My favroite line:

"I grind it up (Metformin), roll up a a page of Taking Charge of Your Fertility & snort it off my OPK box."