Blasphemy!

Amusing blasphemy, that is. :)

But in all seriousness, here's a great article sent to me by a fellow Catholic infertile. And although I am no theologian, I am very well versed in my faith. And because of that, quotes like this make me nuts:

In 1987, the Vatican released Instructions on Respect for Human Life in its Origin and on the Dignity of Procreation, a position paper devised to explain the Church's stance on several medical procedures. In it, the Papacy describes IVF — which results in the creation and destruction of embryos — as a "dynamic of violence and domination."

Yes, IVF results in the creation and possible destruction of embryos. Note how I added "possible". Why? Because not every IVF necessarily results in this. Some women only get 2 embryos out of an IVF cycle. And such a woman PRAYS that those 2 will implant & grow when they are transferred, however this is not guaranteed. We have experienced TREMENDOUS amounts of heartache trying to have children. More often than not, we have also handed over huge amount of money in the hopes of becoming a parent. Our goal most certainly IS NOT destruction of embryos. I just don't get why the Vatican would think that?!?!?

Regardless of how one tries to build a family, this much I know: it is done out of love. And isn't that the greatest gift of all? At least that's what I remember from CCD.

IVF=/= triplets

I stole this ad from another PCOS blog I follow:





The ad is from a bank in New Zealand.

I'm giving them the side-eye for using the stereotype that anyone & everyone who does IVF magically get mutiples, but at least they got the part about having to sell off everything you owe if you have to afford IVF right!

No vagina? No problem!

So here's a headline for you:

Oral Sex, a Knife Fight and Then Sperm Still Impregnated Girl

Say what?!?! No really; here's the article.

Is it wrong I'm kind of jealous?

Clowns? Really? Huh.

I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of clowns. It's not that I have a fear of them, although I know many people who do. I just don't find them funny. Even when I was a kid & my parents would take us to the circus they were my least favorite act. Come to think of it, most people I know don't particuarly enjoy clowns, which is why I give this study on IVF success & medical clowning (yes, I know) a serious side eye:

"In a study of 219 women undergoing IVF, Israeli researchers found the odds of success were greater among women who were entertained by a professional 'medical clown' right after they had the embryos implanted in the womb.

Overall, 36 percent became pregnant, versus 20 percent of women who'd had a comedy-free recovery after embryo implantation."

I'd love to know what kind of a routine a "medical clown" does that almost doubles the success rate. I rather enjoy Monty Python myself, or perhaps Eddie Izzard, but not balloon animals & 30 people piling out of a VW Bug. I'll have to see if I can get my hands on the study for details.

Aakkapporthuavanukku aaraporukkavillai

This weekend marks Pongal, which is basically Thanksgiving in my husband's culture. Tomorrow is also Vid's 31st birthday, so for the next 3 months we'll both be the same age & he can't call me a "cougar"; LOL.

I don't think I've ever posted a photo of him here in the 3 years I've had a blog; have I? Well, better late than never I guess! Here we are @ a friend's wedding last year:



I've been trying to learn more Tamil than just the few survival phrases & curse words I already know. I've been putting more effort into this lately as it looks like my mom-in-law will FINALLY be coming to the US for cancer treatments when Vid's sister comes back from India next month. Amma ("mom" in Tamil) speaks English well enough but she's very bashful about her ability so hopefully my effort will make her feel more @ home. Btw, the name of this blog is actually a Tamil pet name my hubby gave me.

I got a few books from the library in addition to 1 I picked up in India when we were there in 2009. One of the books I've bee using has proverbs in it. Here's one I came across the other day:

ஆக்கப்பொறுத்தவனுக்கு ஆறப்பொறுக்கவில்லை

("Aakkapporthuavanukku aaraporukkavillai" is how you say it in Tamil.)

"He could wait for the food to be cooked, but couldn't wait for it cool down" is the literal translation.

In layman's terms, it's translated as "You waited this much, wait just a bit more".

Waiting just a bit more? Heck I've been waiting for almost 3 years now. But it looks like the wait will be over soon because...

I got word yesterday that I will be going on BCPs next month for IVF. That means we'll likely be doing the ER & ET @ some point in March; my birthday is in April so I'm hoping for a birthday BFP & a sticky baby (or 2) that could be here in time for Christmas 2011. Do you think it's too early to start writing Santa?

The Island of Hope

I don't know if this film will be screened locally (I['ve never heard of the studio that made it) but I hope so:

I'm not getting shot out of that thing!

I haven't seen Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask in years, although I did use parts of it in one of the behavioral endocrinology courses I took back when I was a PhD student & before I had any idea I was infertile. I found a copy of it @ the library this weekend while looking for another DVD. Fondly remembering the sperm scene, I decided to borrow it as well.

There's plenty of humor in this film but my personal favorite quote has always been "I'm not getting shot out of that thing! What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling!" Of course now masturbation usually means "doing it" (Vid's words) in a sterile specimen cup. Poor dear. Ah, how things have changed in the past 31 months of trying to conceive! But he did enjoy the movie. And we did get word that his semen analysis came back fine.

In honor of my husband's unending love, support & occassional humor on this long & difficult journey towards (hopefully) parenthood I've embedded the infamous sperm scene below. Ignore the Chinese subtitles unless you actually read Chinese & want to tell me what they really say; bad translating can be amusing. Enjoy!

On penguins and infertility

One of the infertility message boards I frequent has adopted the penguin as a kind mascot. Why? Well, they have a horrible time incubating eggs that hopefully become baby penguins, as you are probably aware thanks to the success of the film March of the Penguins. A quick Google search yields a great 10 minute educational video made by an RE (who knew?) on penguin mating habits; click here to see it.

Why am I bringing this up?

Well, remember how I posted not too long ago about having a strong urge to go shopping for baby stuff? Today I gave in.

I went to Target after work to pick up some stuff, including some cleaning supplies, which happen to be across from the baby section. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted this:



How cute is that?!?!

In my defense, it was on clearance for $5. It must be a sign! Of course! God is telling me I will finally have a baby! Or maybe God is just being an asshat & mocking me. I think it's fairly gender neutral since it's mostly green which is also nice. But look @ the cute little penguin! I mean, it's gotta be a sign, right? But now comes the most important question: do I show my husband? I'm not sure if he'll think it's cute or think that I've completely lost my marbles. So in the meantime, I've hidden it in the guest room dresser.

Tempus fugit

We spent New Year's Eve @ a family friend's house party. It was a nice time; only about a dozen people, good food & plenty of drink which Vid took advantage of per usual. I had my obligatory glass of red wine & then stuck to water for the evening as even though we were maybe 2 miles from our place I still needed to play the designated driver.

So here we are: 2011. Not even 48 hours in. Do I dare to hope? Or do I look @ our track record & count us out already? I'm not sure. Would it be weird to make my resolution this year to give birth? We don't really have much time; only 3-4 more cycles & then we're looking @ a 2012 baby. I laugh (and then cry) when I think about the fact we were shooting for a 2009 baby when we first started trying to get pregnant. Tempus fugit.