I'm sexy/infertile & I know it!

So, besides being infertile, I've always been a musician.  My mom taught us how to read music at an early age.  I've sang in choirs for as long as I can remember.  I still have the flute I learned to play in middle school, as well as a viola & nadaswaram.  In my younger days I also played bassoon & bass but those are expensive to own (they were loaned to me in school) so I haven't touched them in years, though they are among the 1st things I will buy should I ever hit the lottery.  

Not only do I play & sing, I also write.  And in case you hadn't noticed from reading this blog, I have a warped sense of humor.  So I think it's about time to show you how I've managed to combine my 3 major interests, music, comedy & infertility, into one.  I'd love to fashion myself the "Weird Al" Yankovic of the infertility community.  So, below is one of just several popular songs I've reworked; it took me less than an hour.  I'd love to somehow work this into a music video to post on YouTube but lack the technical skills; any one game for a challenge?

"Infertile And I Know It" (a rip off of "I'm Sexy & I Know It" by LMFAO)
 

Yeah, yeah

When I walk on by, just seeing a pregnant woman makes me cry
Shooting meds in my cheeks, needles in my ass, feeling like a freak, yeah
This is how I roll, pumped full of hormones, outta control,
Yes it’s true I got a rising E2
And wouldn’t you know I got PIO

Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah... My eggs suck
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah... my eggs suck

When I walk to the RE (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Feet in stirrups and they staring at me
I got no eggs in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I'm infertile and I know it [x2]

Yeah
When I'm at the mall, pregnant woman just won’t leave me alone
People wonder why going to a baby shower makes me cry (what)
Well your follies could be bigger, come on now it's time to trigger
We headed to retrieval, baby don't be nervous
Just some blood work and a look at my cervix (watch)

Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah... my eggs suck
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
My eggs suck

When I walk to the RE (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Feet in stirrups and they staring at me
I got no eggs in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I'm infertile and I know it [x3]

Check it out [x2]
BF, BF, BF, BF, BFN yeah [x3]
BF, BF, BF, BF, BFN yeah, yeah
I got a BFN [x2]
Yeah
I'm infertile and I know it

Ah... Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah... My eggs suck
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah...

Yeah I'm infertile and I know it! 

Monitoring

After 5 days of Clomid 100 (took the last dose Saturday) & 3 doses of Follistim 450 my E2 is 665.  Well, actually I was a bit of a space shot & gave myself 350 instead of 450 last night & didn't realize it til the morning (long story) but the RE said no biggie.  My E2 was only 72 after 4 days of stims for IVF #1 & for what it's worth.  I'm thinking not being on Lupron this time was a good move.  We shall see.  I still have the random cyst on my left ovary but they'll drain it when they do ER.  So far everything looks pretty even; 6 on the right & 4 (maybe more behind the cyst) on my left, all in the 9-10 range.  I do 2 more nights of Follistim, adding Cetrotide as well, & go back for more poking & prodding Wednesday.  ER will probably be Friday or Saturday.

Freaking finally!

AF showed 8 days (!) after I took my last BCP.  Freaking finally!  And just as the b!tch showed the day before my hubby left for India, she made her return the day before he came back.  Vid is dead asleep next to me as I type this thanks to Nyquil; he's got this mucus-y sore throat thing I am praying I don't catch.  Just what we need during IVF, right?  It's good to have him back even if he might be contagious.

I took my 1st 100 of Clomid just now & will do so through Saturday.  On Thursday I add 450 of Follistim nightly & return for monitoring on Monday morning with Ganirelix in hand (just in case).  There's also Menopur in my fridge; not sure if/when we will add it.  To be continued...

MIA: AF

So you know that whole "start Clomid Thursday, Follistim Saturday" thing?  Not happening...yet.  AF is MIA.  And no, there is absolutely no possibility I could be pregnant as DH has been 10 time zones away for the past 3 weeks.

I took my last BCP Sunday & we assumed (ha!  yeah, I know) I would be riding the cotton pony in a couple days.  Welp, here it is Friday & nada.  Not even a pinkish hue on my undies.  Cramps?  Yes, since Tuesday.  Errrgh.  Usually, I get cramps & *BAM*, 24-48 hrs later, I'm bleeding like Niagra Falls.  WTF, body?

So I talked to the nurse yesterday afternoon & she said to hold off starting meds until my period shows up.  When (please) the biotch shows up they want me to call & let them know all is well so they can tweak my calendar.  If she still hasn't shown up by the time my already scheduled appt for blood work & an ultrasound comes on Tuesday, they want me to come in so they can maybe figure out "what up with that".  In the meantime, I'm going to Cape Cod for a long weekend @ my grandma's time share to try & get in some relaxation before this adventure gets underway.

Hello, old friend!

I had my suppression check this morning.  Nothing funky of the ultrasound except for a small nonfunctional cyst which she isn't worried about.  My E2 was on the low side & given how it wasn't all that high when I triggered for IVF #1 Dr. D-W tweaked my meds a bit more:

• Thursday: take 100 of Clomid for 5 days ( hello, old friend!)
• Saturday: take 450 of Follistim for 3 days
• Come back on Tuesday 7/24 for another ultrasound & more blood work
• I was also told to bring the Ganirelix with me on Tuesday as she will likely have me take it then.

Dr. D-W also let me know that she was moving her practice (physically) to a new building literally 2 blocks from where I work in September.  Not that her current office is super far, but it'll be nice not to have to cross the city in morning rush hour traffic if we have to cycle again (please God, no).  Dr. D-W said her goal was for me to only have to come see her once @ the new place for my "graduation-to-OB" ultrasound.  After that, she says we can just keep it to running into each while shopping (we live like a mile from each other) or at Indian community events.

I can haz drugz?

My co-pay for this loveliness is $398.24.  I'm lucky to have 80% coverage through our insurance because if we were OOP that amount would be almost $2000.  ZOMG.  And I'm doubly lucky that I had some (not pictured above) Follistim left over (unopened) from IVF #1, plus a friend gave me some, meaning I've actually saved even more as Follistim is hella pricey.  Hopefully I'll be triple lucky & all of these meds will actually give me a baby (or 2) this time around.

Transvaginal light sabers

I'm all scheduled to get wanded (and sucked dry by vampires) next week.  Tuesday the 17th @ 0730 to be exact.  Woohoo!  

I was under the impression that I was going to be on BCPs for 3 weeks.  Nope; just 2.  So as long as my junk looks good, I start stims the day after my suppression check.  My "box of fun" (meds) will be arriving later this week.  I really should clean my fridge...

Seriously, they should make transvaginal ultrasound wands that look like light sabers from Star Wars.  Who wouldn't want to have a glowing vag?  Maybe they could make them do that "Woooooooooooong!!!" sound while the nurse is routing around in there looking for your ovary!  It'd sure give those early morning appointments more ambiance.

It's on like Donkey Kong!

IVF #2, that is!

AF arrived last night a few hours early but hey, such is life.  Of course that meant sending Vid off to India today for 3 weeks with no good bye sex but I think he'll live.  He'll be back just in time for me to start stims & become a raving lunatic.  I took my 1st BCP today & will go in for a suppression check sometime next week.

Good times, good times.