So, besides being infertile, I've always been a musician. My mom taught us how to read music at an early age. I've sang in choirs for as long as I can remember. I still have the flute I learned to play in middle school, as well as a viola & nadaswaram. In my younger days I also played bassoon & bass but those are expensive to own (they were loaned to me in school) so I haven't touched them in years, though they are among the 1st things I will buy should I ever hit the lottery.
Not only do I play & sing, I also write. And in case you hadn't noticed from reading this blog, I have a warped sense of humor. So I think it's about time to show you how I've managed to combine my 3 major interests, music, comedy & infertility, into one. I'd love to fashion myself the "Weird Al" Yankovic of the infertility community. So, below is one of just several popular songs I've reworked; it took me less than an hour. I'd love to somehow work this into a music video to post on YouTube but lack the technical skills; any one game for a challenge?
"Infertile And I Know It" (a rip off of "I'm Sexy & I Know It" by LMFAO)
Yeah, yeah
When I walk on by, just seeing a pregnant woman makes me cry
Shooting meds in my cheeks, needles in my ass, feeling like a freak, yeah
This is how I roll, pumped full of hormones, outta control,
Yes it’s true I got a rising E2
And wouldn’t you know I got PIO
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah... My eggs suck
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah... my eggs suck
When I walk to the RE (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Feet in stirrups and they staring at me
I got no eggs in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it
I'm infertile and I know it [x2]
Yeah
When I'm at the mall, pregnant woman just won’t leave me alone
People wonder why going to a baby shower makes me cry (what)
Well your follies could be bigger, come on now it's time to trigger
We headed to retrieval, baby don't be nervous
Just some blood work and a look at my cervix (watch)
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah... my eggs suck
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
My eggs suck
When I walk to the RE (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Feet in stirrups and they staring at me
I got no eggs in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it
I'm infertile and I know it [x3]
Check it out [x2]
BF, BF, BF, BF, BFN yeah [x3]
BF, BF, BF, BF, BFN yeah, yeah
I got a BFN [x2]
Yeah
I'm infertile and I know it
Ah... Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah... My eggs suck
Ah... Girl look at that fert report [x3]
Ah...
5 comments:
I was singing it in my head while reading. I think it's fabulous. If I think of an easy way to get this on YouTube, I'll let you know!
I was totally singing as I read. It makes me happy for some strange reason.
Yup, singing it while I was reading it. Fits me well too!
HA! i heard it in my head for sure - you're creative! funny and true! thanks for sharing :-)
<3 Nice spin on something so crappy.
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