WTF, v. 3

Background to my WTF:

For IVF #1 I went to a place I'll call Clinic W because they didn’t have BMI restrictions for IVF.  Did long Lupron & it was a shit cycle (5R, 2M, 1F with ICSI).  I asked that RE about changing protocols & she was not receptive so I bailed.  In the meantime my original RE’s practice finally relaxed their BMI restrictions so I went back to her @ Clinic X for IVF #2 & we did a “kitchen sink” antagonist protocol (Clomid for 5 days, then low & slow with Follistim, Cetrotide & Menopur).  Ironically, I had a cyst this cycle but it was a much better stim (10R, 8M, 4F with ICSI).  For IVF #3 (followed my RE to her new practice @ Clinic Y but she left; still not sure what happened) & did straight antagonist with similar results to IVF #1 (6R, 4M, 2F with ICSI but 1 arrested the morning of transfer).  I have 1 frosty (Nemo) from IVF #2.

WTF (Cliffs Notes version):

RE suggested micro Lupron.   I told him I was not interested given how horrible it make me feel.  I asked about repeating the protocol for IVF #2 & he said he didn’t think the Clomid made much difference.  I asked about estrogen priming since I wonder if the estrogen from the cyst actually helped things for IVF #2 by giving me more follies & a good maturity rate.  He was “meh” about it.  I asked about adding aspirin or steroids & was given the “there’s evidence both for & against” line.  I asked about immune testing & even though he was neutral on it he told me what I already knew: insurance in MA doesn’t cover (we’re @ a satellite office of a well known MA clinic) & in our state it’s rare.  I asked about a sperm frag test & he said DH’s #s appeared fine.  I told him I had been told by the 2 other REs before him the overall #s were fine but the morph was borderline & his motility was low.  Inconsistent much?

After we went through everything, he said “it might take a few tries to get it” & suggested losing weight would magically cure my infertility.  I told him I already tried IVF 3 times & have been TTC for 5 years now.  I also showed him the article on weight loss & how it does not improve egg quality or pregnancy rates.  I also pointed out how despite being a size 22/24 I have a 28 day cycle & all my latest hormonal b/w is within normal limits.  Also, having never made it to a day 5 transfer, I wonder if any of the day 3 embryos we transferred even had a shot?  He did say it's about 50/50 from his experience.  Interesting, as I have an infertile friend whose only success was her lone frosty which was a day 5 embryo who is now a perfect 3 month old baby boy.

My thoughts:

I left feeling like I clearly need to not do another fresh cycle there.  We will do an FET with Nemo sometime this year; he was ok with not using Lupron & using estrogen instead, which was good.  But if that doesn’t work, I’m going to have to look into if my insurance covers working with Braverman in NY (3 hrs away).  First, I need to get copies of my records.  It says on his website that he takes Blue Cross (which we have) but I don’t know about out of network deductibles, etc.  DH keeps saying “we’ll make it work/find the $ somehow” but I have no idea how.  I’m kind of ok with CFNBC in a strange way; I mean, we’ve been living it for 5 years now anyways, so how does it really change anything?  I’m just so sick of my life being dictated by cycling.