Apparently I now have infertility nightmares. I'm not sure whether to laugh @ this fact or find it incredibly disturbing. I probably haven't had a true wake up in a cold sweat trying to catch your breath kind of nightmare since childhood, about 20 years ago. But I've had 2 in the past week; both quite similar.
In the 1st one I dreamed married only 10 weeks & already 8 weeks pregnant cousin was chasing me in her wedding dress with a huge baby bump. In the second one, I was kidnapped by my mother, thrown in the trunk of her car & driven against my will to NJ (where said cousin is from) to her baby shower. I should point out my mother drives a Hyundai Accent & I'm 5'10" & plus size so it must've been quite a feat for her to stuff me in the trunk!
As if being infertile in reality isn't bad enough, it's now invaded my REM sleep as well! Usually I have pleasant or amusing dreams if I dream @ all. Hopefully this is not the start of a new pattern.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Yeah, so, I can't take this no baby shit anymore. My cousin's lovely announcement basically put me over the edge. I'm not blaming her for getting pregnant or anything like that. If it wasn't her, surely it would be my other cousin who just got married or the 2 friends I have getting married later this year. Shit, all 4 of them will probably have kids before me @ this rate. Let's just say the Zoloft alone is no longer cutting it. So now not only am I the hair club president, but I'm also a client: I work in psych research & am now on the receiving end of therapy. The person I am seeing comes recommended by my RE & actually specializes in dealing with folks with fertility issues. Hopefully she'll give me the tools I need to get through this & not be so bitchy to people who manage to get knocked up on their honeymoon. Oops, did I say that out loud? Whatever...