Saturday, June 26, 2010

I totally called it!

Remember this post from last month?:

"Also, my cousin's wedding is next weekend. I don't know if they'll be trying to get pregnant right away or not, yet I'm almost certain she'll get knocked up before me. Thank God it's an open bar!"



Yup, they've been married a whole 5 weeks & she's knocked up. My dear, sweet mother decided to tell me the news WHILE DRIVING. Thanks, mom. My day wasn't rough enough, let's see if we can make me get into an accident too. Of course I broke down in tears. I hate that infertility has turned what should be happy occasions into painful ones.

If there was every an infertility movie, I have a great idea for a title:

Friday, June 25, 2010

I think this blog needs a weekly feature, don't you?

How about we call it "They have a baby & I don't?!?!?!?"


Unfortunately, it could probably be a daily feature. But I digress. And give you this as a first installment:

Couple Tried to Sell Baby Outside Walmart for $25

I hate people.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

More peeps all up in my junk

So, I've been seeing a Fertility Care practitioner for the past month or so & using the Creighton model. And yet again it's a small world: the person I've been meeting with is the wife of a kid (now in his mid 30s) I sang in choir with back in the day. She's currently pregnant with #3 & also has PCOS so it gives me some hope. It's also nice to have a "girlfriend" to chat about the wonders of infertility: Metformin ass, dildo cams, cervical mucus, etc.

You're probably saying "Creighton model? WTF does that mean? Well, it's best described as the Catholic church's answer to seeing an RE. For more info, see Don't worry, I'm still a bad Catholic in many ways (ha!) but I'm also open minded about alternatives to doing more IUIs or having to go down the IVF road. Maybe I'm just delaying the inevitable, but considering it's been 2 years of nada, what's another few months of this?

In addition to seeing Monica I'm also being refered to a gyno who specializes in endometriosis. I've had a thought in the back of my mind for quite a while as to if I have that given my mother's recurrent issues with fibroids & the fact (TMI ALERT!) that when I have my period I often pass what can be described as grape jelly: dark purple/black clots. However, my periods aren't painful like most women with endo. Then again, I'm also the weirdo with super regular cycles who has PCOS.

My appt to see Dr. Endo (not his real name) is on July 16. I'm hoping we'll be able to schedule a lap to be done by the end of summer because when classes start up again in the fall, fuggeddaboudit. Also, Vid is off for the summer (lucky college profs & their schedules!) so he can be my nursemaid while I recover. Ha! Not that I'm looking forward to surgery, but it'll be nice to know if there's endo or not for certain.

Add another person to the list of people all up in my junk

Monday, June 14, 2010

I've reached a new low.

I had 3 Dollar Store pregnancy tests in the bathroom vanity last cycle. Normally, I start testing about 12 DPO or so, because miracles do occur, or at least that's what I've heard. But this past cycle, for the first time in the 2 years we've been TTC, I didn't POAS. My husband, who is just as eager to see what a positive pregnancy test looks like as I am, begged me to take one. After all, we had great timing, like always, which has yielded nada. I informed him my new rule is no POAS unless & until I reach CD 30 as my normal cycles are 27-29 days long. And wouldn't ya know on CD 28 AF arrived like clockwork yet again. So the tests are still in the vanity, waiting for a time when I get to see a CD 30. Their expiration date is at the end of 2011; hopefully I get to use them by then & get a happy result for a change.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My grandma has a dirty mind

My dad's parents have had a couple of weeks @ a timeshare on Cape Cod every summer since I was a baby. Growing up, we'd go every year & as I got into college & grad school I'd try to go down for a long weekend or 2. With my grandpa's passing in February I wasn't sure if my grandma was going to keep it or sell it. And with work being crazy (moreso than the usual psych ward stuff) I need a vacation but don't want to spend a ton of money given how much we may be forking over to do IVF later this year. If we went to Cape Cod, we wouldn't have to pay for hotel (which is hella pricey) since we'd stay @ the timeshare. We could just go grocery shopping as it's a full house & save $ that way too.
So I called my grandma to see about going down next month & she said she was planning on keeping the timeshare indefinitely since the whole family uses it. I told her we'd be willing to camp on the pull-out sofa in the living room if anyone else was coming & wanted the bedroom with the 2 twin beds. Even though grandpa is gone, she still would sleep in the master bed. At 82, she can do whatever she wants, right?
The next day grandma calls me back & says my divorced uncle & his 14 year old son are coming too but she told them to stay in the living room. I told her we'd be glad to stay in the living room, but she insisted, stating, "Well, I thought you guys might want some privacy. You know, you can push the 2 twin beds together. I mean, in case you needed to fool around."
Do you think she's dropping a hint that she wants to become a great grandmother?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Happy (well, not really) 2 year TTC-a-versary!

Has it really been 2 years of this bull crap already? It feels like 900 sometimes. We started actively trying (charting) in 6/08 after I took my last BCP in 4/08. Apparently I never needed to worry about getting knocked up after all. I could have a toddler by now if I was one of those magical women who get knocked up their first cycle.

Ok, that was a truly depressing thought. Maybe I'll go eat my feelings with the above posted cake now.