Sunday, April 25, 2010

It'sNational Infertility Awareness Week!

Here are some commonly held myths & real facts about infertility:

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than 7.3 million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. But choosing how to build your family is a very personal decision. Learning about all the ways to build a family can open your eyes to options you may not have thought of as a possibility. Education is key to finding resolution.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.

Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!

Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.

Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!

Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.

Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.

A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.

Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!

Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

For more info, visit Resolve's website.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Not submited by me but it totally could've been:

Sunday, April 11, 2010

So I ran into my RE the other day

We were both shopping @ Kohl's. Vid was trying on some things in the changing room & she was there with her dad. It's kind of funny, because I was like "Hey, long time! I kind of miss seeing you guys". What a weird thing to say to someone who usually sees you naked from the waist down. But really, all the folks who work in her practice are fabulous.

We chatted for a bit, not about infertility but my mother-in-law & what's going on with getting her here for a second opinion on cancer treatments. My father-in-law is coming @ the end of the month for a few weeks to see my sister-in-law walk for her 2nd Masters as well as talk to specific hospitals about her case & if she could be treated here. She gave us some good ideas as well; we'll see what happens.

We left the store with a "See you in the summer" & "Maybe sooner if you get pregnant on your own". Huh; my RE has more faith in my ladygarden doing its freaking job than I do. Sad really. Maybe it's because after almost 2 years of nothing I'm not much of a believer in miracles anymore.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Reggae about infertility? Who'd have thunk!

Sharing this song posted by a fellow infertile on a message board I frequent; love it:

Sunday, April 4, 2010

We made it through Easter.

We made it through Easter with "So when are you having kids?" being asked once, by a cousin of mine who, in her defense, I haven't seen in several years. Oh, and she has an almost 2 year old. Most of my family is well aware we have been trying for a long time so in that way we're lucky that we head off a lot of these questions. But every holiday now comes with the "Maybe we'll have a little one next Easter/Thanksgiving/obscure holiday next year". Time flies but what do we have to show for it besides a bitter, barren uterus?

I admit I'm ridiculous in many ways when it comes to our infertility issues. But it's hard not to dwell on things when babies are EVERYWHERE; after all, I am in my early 30s & everyone I know is either pregnant or has little kids. For example, at Mass today I ran into a girl I went to elementary school with. She's been married less than a year & is already 7 months pregnant. For me, having a conversation with a pregnant woman is now incredibly awkward, reminiscent of men who have conversations with a woman's breasts: I can't take my eyes off the belly. I find some humor in this though since being a plus size woman chances are I'm not going to end up with a beautiful, round belly if & when I do get pregnant.

And don't even get me started about going to Hindu temple with my husband. Indian women appear to be incredibly fertile if you just spend an afternoon on a weekend there. And as we're one of a very few inter-racial/inter-religious couples who go there, I am acutely aware that we're being "watched" for any sign a baby *might* be on the way; after all, we've been married for over 2 years now. And now that many of his friends are having marriages arranged for them, I'm sure we'll be hearing about pregnancies on their end too.

Friday, April 2, 2010