Friday, July 22, 2011

Infertiles Anonymous

In group this week we got on the subject of how our 1st group felt very much like an AA meeting: "Hello. My name is Anasara & I'm an infertile". Working in mental health I have a lot of patients who are "dually diagnosed", meaning they have a substance abuse issue in addition to a major mental illness. I was thus inspired to create a 12 step program for us infertiles. I apparently have way too much time on my hands.

The 12 Steps of Infertiles Anonymous

1.We came to admit we were powerless over our own bodies (or the bodies of our partners) & their inability to reproduce.
2.We came to believe that a Power greater than us (an RE) could possibly (hopefully) restore us to sanity.
3.We made a decision to turn our bodies, minds & large amounts of money to this Power.
4.We made a searching & fearless inventory of ourselves & our commitment to becoming parents.
5.We admitted to the RE, ourselves & our partners that we were scared out of our minds about this entire process.
6.We were ready to do anything (ANYTHING) the RE told us *might* better our chances at success.
7.We humbly asked our RE for a therapy referral after the umpteenth failed cycle.
8.We made a list of all the fertiles we’d like to harm because of their stupid comment & blocked them temporarily on Facebook,.
9.We made a promise to talk to said fertiles again once we were finally pregnant.
10.We continued to make decisions in our life based on when we were scheduled to cycle, forgoing vacations & interviews for a better job.
11.We ate pineapple core, drank pomegranate juice, had accupuncture & did innumerable other strange things in the hopes they would yield a pregnancy.
12.We have had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps: we tried to carry the message of our struggles with infertility to the uneducated fertiles.

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