Sunday, April 4, 2010

We made it through Easter.

We made it through Easter with "So when are you having kids?" being asked once, by a cousin of mine who, in her defense, I haven't seen in several years. Oh, and she has an almost 2 year old. Most of my family is well aware we have been trying for a long time so in that way we're lucky that we head off a lot of these questions. But every holiday now comes with the "Maybe we'll have a little one next Easter/Thanksgiving/obscure holiday next year". Time flies but what do we have to show for it besides a bitter, barren uterus?

I admit I'm ridiculous in many ways when it comes to our infertility issues. But it's hard not to dwell on things when babies are EVERYWHERE; after all, I am in my early 30s & everyone I know is either pregnant or has little kids. For example, at Mass today I ran into a girl I went to elementary school with. She's been married less than a year & is already 7 months pregnant. For me, having a conversation with a pregnant woman is now incredibly awkward, reminiscent of men who have conversations with a woman's breasts: I can't take my eyes off the belly. I find some humor in this though since being a plus size woman chances are I'm not going to end up with a beautiful, round belly if & when I do get pregnant.

And don't even get me started about going to Hindu temple with my husband. Indian women appear to be incredibly fertile if you just spend an afternoon on a weekend there. And as we're one of a very few inter-racial/inter-religious couples who go there, I am acutely aware that we're being "watched" for any sign a baby *might* be on the way; after all, we've been married for over 2 years now. And now that many of his friends are having marriages arranged for them, I'm sure we'll be hearing about pregnancies on their end too.

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