Sunday, December 20, 2009

Not good.

We just got done with shoveling over a foot of snow from the 1st major storm of the season. The poor dog (he's a little Pekingese) had a hell of a time trying to find a place to go potty; he wasn't that thrilled about having to do his business on the sidewalk instead of grass. The tree is finally up & Vid went Christmas shopping for my gift(s) yesterday so we're pretty much ready for the holiday. I just wish I was more in the spirit, but it's hard to get into things when the bullshit that has been our lives continues. Let me explain.

My grandpa's brother (dad's dad) died last weekend. Not totally unexpected given he had MS & was in his late 70s. At about the same time, my grandpa is admitted to the hospital because his speech is nonsensical & they think he's having another stroke. As my mother said, he sounded like Snoop Dog, saying things like "Give me the snizzle".

To make a long story short, they run a bunch of tests & there was no stroke detected. There was, however, a mass @ the base of his brain. Further testing showed it to be a tumor & they wanted to do a biopsy so they could see if it was cancer or something else. Well, it's cancer. And it's in the part of the brain that controls emotions, speech & breathing among other things. And considering it wasn't there when they did the scan a few months ago when he had his stroke & the rate @ which it appears to be growing, his prognosis isn't good. The doctors said we should be talking to hospice & making final arrangements. We went to visit him @ the hospital yesterday; the last time we saw him was about 6 weeks ago, before we went to India. It's amazing what a downhill spiral he's gone into since then.

I know he's in his 80s & that nobody lives forever. But this past year (really, 2) has been nothing but bad news between devastating diagnoses & the sheer amount of family & friends that have passed on, many unexpectedly. And to see someone who was as sharp as a tack 2 months ago unable to form a coherent sentence is heartbreaking. I have no idea how my grandmother is going to deal with this given her severe mental health problems.

Please, Santa, can we get some good news for Christmas?

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