I didn't attend my cousin's baby shower this past weekend. And I felt no guilt. I explained to her last month when the shower invites went out I would no longer be attending such events for my own sanity. And that my therapist concurred that was a good idea. I would, however, send a gift. An I upheld my end of the bargain. I simply gave my mother money & told her to spend it on whatever was on the registry around that price point. Of course, I also had a raging head cold so even if I wasn't a bitter infertile I probably wouldn't have gone.
I also won't be going to the other cousin's shower next month. It's in NJ which is a bit of a haul & God knows what the weather will be like in January. Plus, with IVF probably just around the corner (it better be! I'm sick of being patient!) I may need to be local for monitoring or whatever. My parents will be on vacation in Mexico for this one (lucky) so my mom won't be attending. I may just throw a gift card in the mail.
I'm also debating my attendance at Christmas. I feel very conflicted about this. I know at least 1 of the 3 pregnant cousins will be there & I'm just not in the mood. However, this could very well be the last holiday we celebrate in my grandparents' house as it's going on the market after the new year. Maybe we'll just "chew & screw" so I don't feel guilty but also don't have to lock myself in the bathroom to cry at some point.
I just don't want to deal with people. I'm officially anti-social.