Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Bye bye, Catholicism.

I meant to post this on Sunday but to say things have been nutty around here would be the understatement of the year.  I'll go into that in a later post, but for now, I have an announcement.  And no, it's not that, though I wish it were.  The announcement is I am officially leaving the Roman Catholic church.

At Mass this past Sunday the priest was giving a homily based on the day's readings which talked about how a man should not be alone & in marriage they become "one in the marital act".  He went into how the church doesn't really do a good job talking to people about healthy relationships & specifically a good sex life within marriage.  I was totally on board with this until he crossed all 4 lanes of traffic & took the exit to Crazy Town.

He then went off about how IVF is sinful because it "removes the marital act".  Excuse me?  Just because we're infertile doesn't mean we don't have sex.  Has infertility affected our sex life?  Sure.  But I still love my husband in both body & mind.  And really, what infertile doesn't wish to simply partake in "the marital act" to get pregnant?  I'd love to get a kid for free, without being pumped full of meds & maybe actually get an orgasm from the whole experience!

It was all I could do not to walk out in the middle of Mass.  What stopped me was the fact I sing in choir & have too much respect for my fellow choir members to cause a scene.  But after this, I am officially done with the Catholic church.  I will be checking out a local Episcopal church this weekend.  Not only are they fine with infertility treatment, they are also "yay for gay" which is another plus in my book.

The only joy I got out of this whole experience is having the knowledge that this very same priest who is so against IVF has baptized at least 2 babies who were conceived that way.  I doubt he is aware of this.  I'd love to tell him to see his reaction, but I also don't want to "out" these people.  I personally think their children are beautifully made by science in the image of  God; why can't he see this?  They are children; that's all.  Not the product of sin, but of a love so great that their parents went through hell to have them.


Toni Rapp said...

This story has become to common among catho that have to go through treatment. It breaks my hurt that its has to be this way. And such an amazing gift is looked upon as a sin.

kthappy76 said...

This must be very difficult, even though they may have made the decision easier for you. I am proud of you for standing up for what you believe in. ((hugs))

Rebecca said...

Some Episcopalian churches are Anglican ones that do not believe in infertility treatments and do not believe there should be gays the same as Roman Catholics. I'm glad that you found one of the ones that does allow it. The church that J and I went to a few times earlier this year is of the first type of Episcopalian the Anglicans of which he was raised in. We haven't been back since March. I was brought up RC. Being that some of friends are gay I felt wrong in attending a church that didn't welcome them except if they hid their sexuality. Plus I like to keep the rosaries out of my ovaries. However I do still keep a rosary in my nightstand drawer. Call me conflicted if you will. I do understand how you feel.

Michelle said...

I am also Episcopalian and am very pleased with how the Church has adapted over time. The church did split several years ago after the appointment of an openly gay bishop. those that left are the Anglicans and name themselves as such. Coming from a RC church you won't find too many differences depending on how "high" the episcopal church is. I hope you enjoy it.

Jeremy, Censie and Jude said...

I dont get it!! The bottom line is that they are babies/children! Good for you for taking a stance. I hope you find a new church that you are comfortable with.

futureMom said...

You go sister! I would also be done with any church if I had to listen to a sermon like that! I go to a United Church and it is very inclusive and gay-friendly as well.

Rheed said...

I'm very interested in hearing about your thoughts about other churches. I'm RC too, and lately especially with the election, the homilies are hard to listen to. I'm pro choice, pro gay marriage, pro infertility treatments, and pro alternative families (gay parents, single parents, etc). It's getting really hard for me to remain RC. But one thing about the RC church that I truely believe is that once the baby is here, they are accepted - no matter how they are concieved. Of course every priest is different on how accepting they are. Also, I keep telling myself that no church is going to perfectly align with my thoughts unless I were to create my own.
Please keep posting on your experiences with other churches.

jak said...

great post! good luck with your journey.

sooooooooo, what about children born out of wedlock? is that one wrong and one right, so they're all clear - no sin there?!

now ivf BEFORE marriage, holy hell, that'll make your priest's head spin!!!