Wednesday, June 8, 2011

3 years of TTC.

IUI #7 is a

B
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F
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N.

What else is new, right?

Apparently 22 million sperm cannot manage to fertilize 1 fucking egg out of 4 mature follies in an organ the size of a pear.

Why does this have to be so hard?

Against my better judgement, we're doing 1 more IUI since I have leftover Follistim & Endometrin to use up. After that, it's IVF time, even though it makes me want to vomit thinking about how much $ that will cost us.

I don't think Vid truly "gets it". He keeps talking about how "It's got to happen for you; I know how much you want a baby", but obviously all the wanting in the world does not a baby make. I don't want to be mean, but I feel like I really need to have a serious, blunt talk with him about how if we're not pregnant by the end of this year, I'm done trying. And if he can't get over that & move on to adoption, then perhaps we need to re-evaluate our marriage.

I hate infertility.

3 comments:

ADSchill said...

God. I know how you feel. This is all so hard and stressful.

Just a suggestion, but maybe you should take a month break to get some hope back and just head on to IVF. It's such a huge decision, but if IUI's aren't working for you, you may not want to invest any more heartache into it. I think 7 tries is admirable, but unless your hubby has male factor issues, they don't really give you much better chance than intercourse.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know what it's like to want to be a parent so bad that you keep pushing your body each month. And we paid more for a multi-cycle IVF than I thought we ever would. It's truly a difficult situation, but we have to give it everything we've got right?

Good luck on whatever you choose to do.

MissC

Melissa N. said...

I am so sorry this keeps happening. It takes so much strength to keep pushing through the muck. Infertility tests pretty much everything - marriages, friendships, self-esteem, the ability to hope, optimism, faith, patience, sanity, self-worth. etc. It's horrible. We've been trying since 02/2008 and we're still grappling for understanding, grasping at straws and trying to find the strength to keep on keepin' on. Best of luck to you with whatever you choose to do. You're not alone. If you want, you can follow along on my blog. I, too, have PCOS. It's a bitch. www.infertilemyrtleme.blogspot.com.

nikinikinine said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I was waiting to see what happened with this cycle.

I don't mean to push IVF, but for us it was the *only* thing that ever worked. It's expensive, but it's precise.

GL with your next IUI, I hope that's all you have to do.

And, no, men don't get it. After you have babies they still don't get it. They are clueless. I prefer to shake mine, it seems to help :)